Does it ever seem that your partner speaks a language completely foreign to you? It’s true, men and women do communicate differently from one another. I’m going to help you to understand how brain chemistry impacts male and female communication. In so doing, I’ll help you to learn how your partner communicates to make it easier for you to avoid misunderstandings. Improved communications leads to improved relationships.
Why is this different? While research shows that only 10% of the brains of men and women are different, that difference has a huge affect on our relationships.
Essentially there are two key differences in how the genders communicate. Male and female brain chemistry accounts for these differences. Men, for example, communicate primarily to solve problems and to get the task done. Women, on the other hand, communicate much more. For example, a woman may communicate to solve the same problem while also communicating to relieve the stress that the problem has caused, thereby making her feel better. She may also communicate to foster emotional bonding, strengthen her relationships, stimulate her creative abilities, and even as a method of self-discovery.
This distinction often leads to the development of a lot of stress in a relationship when it is misunderstood. It’s been helpful to many of my clients to understand that men and women literally are speaking two separate languages. When you take the time to understand your partner’s language, you’re able to find peace, harmony, and understanding within your relationship, rather than the mistrust and animosity that may have existed prior the development of your understanding.
When a man speaks, he tends to be very matter-of-fact and direct to the point. This shouldn’t be understood as rude or over-bearing. It’s the way his brain is hard-wired for communication. His brain chemistry is such that he mulls over things quietly, typically on his own. Once the problem has been resolved, he’ll speak or take action. His brain is hard-wired to resolve problems and complete tasks. The man’s brain is wired to have a single focus.
On the other hand, a woman loves to talk about an issue and all the many ways that it could be resolved. She searches for what the consensus is, even if ultimately she resolves the issue in another way. She feels better, having talked about it, sometimes even bringing it up more than once. Bear in mind, that the entire time she is discussing an issue, she also has on her mind several unrelated things that she also is driven to resolve.
Understanding these differences makes it possible for us to understand why our partners communicate the way that they do. It’s two different means of reaching the same destination. You’ll be better equipped to respond with patience and love when you accept that your partner is hard-wired to communicate differently than you are, which will strengthen and build your relationship.